Opinion: Don’t believe the hype – you don’t need to spend thousands to be a good parent – Stuff

Stephanie Ockhuysen is a Stuff reporter and columnist based in Taranaki.

Opinion: Here we are in the middle of a genuine cost of living crisis where most of us are struggling just to fill the grocery trolley and pay our bills on time.

So why am I still getting bombarded with messages about how my toddler needs a $1700 pram, a $17 pair of baby socks and a $200 sleep sack to live a happy and healthy life.

Im here to call bulls..t and say enough is enough.

My husband and I are average income parents, and were raising a happy, healthy little boy and doing great without all that crap.

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We need to understand that a lot of baby brands and social media mumfluencers rely on hooking into our insecurities about being good parents to get a pay cheque.

Apparently, to be a decent parent, you must have the top of the range $80 baby bath, the $450 swinging seat, the $150 natural baby play set, which is basically just wooden spoons of different sizes, and the $60 baby shushing machine.

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Sure they look cute, but a designer raincoat for your toddler is not essential for successful parenting.

And if youre a vulnerable parent in the trenches who has a baby that perhaps isnt sleeping, so in turn youre not sleeping, of course you are going to throw all your money at any solution.

But do you want to know a secret that these companies and the mumfluencers will never tell you?

You dont have to spend thousands of dollars to be a good parent.

Dont spend $60 for a machine that goes shhhhh over and over again when you can access shushing for free through YouTube and Spotify.

A $10 thermal will keep your little one just as warm as a $40 thermal.

The free pram we found on social media pushes our son around exactly the same as the thousand dollar one.

You will love your kid just the same whether you have a second hand high chair from your parents or a $350 one thats meant to stop them from getting scoliosis. Whatever that is.

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An expensive high chair does not guarantee your baby will appreciate the food you servce.

Neither model will stop your kid throwing your lovingly prepared food on the floor, so why waste the money?

Parenthood is a minefield as it is. We dont need these grenades thrown in trying to make us feel like we arent already doing enough.

When I was pregnant cord banking was a hot topic and a number of people I follow on social media were posting about how important it was to them and their family.

If you dont know, cord banking stores umbilical cord stem cells for future use if your child was to ever become sick and need a stem cell transplant.

It sounds like a great idea because who doesnt want to save their childs life when they are sick, right? The catch is, it costs thousands of dollars as well as a hefty annual storage fee.

And these influencers who were telling me how vital it was for parents to do this and praying on my vulnerable state, were in an extremely privileged position of not actually having to pay a cent while they convinced other parents to empty their savings.

Around the same time another baby brand did a big social media campaign with a number of the same influencers.

On the same day they all revealed their new, almost identical nurseries, which would cost the average parent upwards of $2000, but they got it for free.

Its been more than a year now and it still makes me livid.

Because even though I know its bulls..t, I still find myself regularly tossing up whether to spend a small fortune to feel like a worthy parent or stick to my budget and get a product I know deep down is just as good.

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An expensive car seat is nice, but there are others that will also keep your children safe.

Choosing a car seat was a perfect example of this.

The ones all my friends and online influencers recommended was between $800 $1000.

We also need two car seats, so that would have cost us $2000.

For those playing along at home and doing the math, were fast tracking towards $10,000 to buy all these essential baby items.

My husband and I were not keen to spend $2000+ on car seats and if you do your due diligence you can find great seats that are perfectly safe without the eye watering price tag.

Even if the influencer trap tries to make to feel like youre essentially driving with your kid unsecured on your lap.

Its not fair, and its detrimental to the mental health of parents who are just trying to get by.

Dont get sucked into the hype, you dont need all these things to be a good parent, youre doing a great job already.

Stephanie Ockhuysen is a Stuff reporter and columnist based in Taranaki.

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Opinion: Don't believe the hype - you don't need to spend thousands to be a good parent - Stuff